Wellbeing

1: GET IN A STATE OF “FLOW”.

“Flow” is the name given to the state of complete immersion and engagement in a task to the point where time flies by. It builds confidence, gives you a sense of achievement and diminishes self-consciousness. To be in flow, we need to take action on an enjoyable challenge. Although it’s highly personal to each individual, here are examples of some common “flow-inducing” activities/hobbies:

• Playing an instrument
• Gardening
• Cooking
• Playing a sport
• Reading
• Solving puzzles
• Painting
• Programming or coding
• Cleaning (is that just me??)

2: FOSTER OPTIMISM.

When you’re feeling disconnected or your mood is low, it can be hard to feel optimistic. But positive psychology offers us research-backed tools that help us see the glass is at least somewhat Here are just a few strategies to foster optimism: 

• Start and end your day thinking of people/things you’re grateful for. This shifts your focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant in your life.
• Challenge pessimistic views by asking yourself if there’s another way to look at the situation. 
• Visualize success. Spend a few moments each day visualizing positive outcomes.
• Focus on solutions over problems. When something bad happens, feel the feelings, but then ask “how can I get the best possible outcome?” before rumination takes over. 
• Engage in acts of kindness. No matter how small, they can make you feel more positive about yourself and the world.
• Limit exposure to negativity. Reduce your intake of negative media and replace it with something uplifting. 

3: FIND MEANING AND PURPOSE.

Positive psychologists have discovered that temporary pleasures just aren’t long-lasting. Combining pleasure with purpose, on the other hand, can be a powerful mixture. A key way of identifying our purpose in life is by naming our values and strengths, and then putting them into play. Ask yourself:

1. 1. What are your core values, those foundational beliefs you hold that truly guide your life?
   2. What are your personal qualities or talents you feel good about expressing?
   3. How can you live your values by expressing those qualities in your life more? 

Once you name your values and qualities, you can deepen your fulfillment by expressing them more. Sprinkle in a little bit of pleasure, and you’ve got a powerful path to happiness. For example, “fun” and “kindness” are two of my core values. When I feel nervous before hitting the stage, I show up with fun and kindness. This helps me focus on the positive, enjoy myself more, and make a bigger impact on audiences. 

If you’re looking for more happiness, try one of these approaches and see your outlook brightened. 

Rest anytime, anywhere with deep breathing. When we’re stressed out, an old-timey part of our brain releases hormones that would have helped us stay alive by defeating a predator. But these days, it’s not very helpful when our body releases those hormones when we accidentally hit reply all or have to speak at a big meeting. Although a brisk walk or yoga can help with stress, the quickest proven way out of anxiety is “box breathing”.  It takes you from fight or flight mode to rest and digest mode, so you can move on peacefully. I do it anytime, anywhere, and it reminds me that no matter what happens in life, at our core we always have a safe, quiet place. I do box breathing about 3 times a day, and it has made me less reactive and more confident. Try it, it works!

Mantras are like the little pep talks you give yourself when life becomes ‘a bit much’. They make us stronger by anchoring our thoughts, reducing mental chatter and helping us stay present. This focus can calm anxiety and stress, making it easier to deal with challenges. Do any of these mantras relax you? What other mantras could bring you comfort when you need it? Jot them down somewhere visible so they can reinforce your resilience throughout the day. 

1: NAME THE FEELING.

Recognize what’s going on for you in the moment. Are you judging the crap out of yourself? Where do you feel it in your body? Maybe your throat is tight, your shoulders are hiked, or your butt cheeks are clenched like a bank vault at midnight. You don’t need to DO anything about it. Just clock it, like: “I can feel my face is flushed, my fists are balled up and my heart is pounding so hard I’m mouth breathing.”

2: CONNECT WITH CALM.

Gently put one hand on your heart and the other on your forehead or belly, or rest it over the hand on your heart. Give yourself a few moments just to breathe.

3: SELF-SOOTHE.

Stroke your own cheek, give yourself a hug, or gently rub your arms while holding yourself. Not the touchy/feely type? Try repeating words of comfort. With each inhale think “I breathe in peace” and with each exhale “I breathe out love.” The goal here is to remind yourself that you’re safe and ok.

4: BEFRIEND YOURSELF.

Ask how you can be a friend to yourself in this moment. Receive the answers you give yourself with love and care. Don’t try to solve or debate anything. Just give yourself the unconditional understanding that you are longing for. Keep breathing and holding yourself in a self-compassionate pose. In those moments, I think of a woman I met up north who told me “You may not know your ancestors, but they know you.” It can be comforting to remember that those who came before us would want the best for us.

5: TRY BOX BREATHING.

If stress still lingers, try box breathing. I’ve done it on an airplane, in line at the grocery store, when I’m filling up the gas tank etc. It’s the most proven way to stop feeling stress. Breath in deeply for 4 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds, breathe out slowly like you’re blowing up a balloon for 4 seconds, then rest for 4 seconds. Repeat this box breathing four times. It takes you out of stress mode and back into rest/digest mode.

Remember, treating yourself with kindness, understanding and acceptance doesn’t just feel good — it makes us resilient.

If you’re going through a rough time, please know that there are always people available to help. If you feel you need support, please talk to someone.

That may be:

• your doctor
• a crisis phone line  – yourlifecounts.org
• an online crisis line – imalive.org

And if you want to understand more, or to get involved, here are some great places to start:

• The George Hull Center for Children and Families
• Anxiety and Depression Association of America