Positive Mindset: An Acheivable Pathway To Change

After years of battling depression, maintaining a positive mindset is really important to me. Of course, no one wants to have a negative mindset. We all have Eeyore moments, but perpetually seeing the world through a glass-half-empty lens can cloud our experiences and ultimately feel pretty crummy.

 I also know first-hand that having a positive mindset doesn’t always feel possible. In the years since I’ve recovered from depression, I’ve learned that maintaining a positive mindset is a lot like adding grease to the wheels of life: it makes everything you do so much easier

So, what is a positive mindset? One definition that I like is from Remez Sasson, who says, “Positive thinking is a mental and emotional attitude that focuses on the bright side of life and expects positive results.” It’s this expectation of positive results that really distinguishes those with a positive mindset from those with a negative one.

 Having a pessimistic outlook can cause needless suffering and contribute to a feeling of helplessness. The exception to this is “defensive pessimism,” a strategy of intentionally imagining the worst-case scenario in preparation of disappointment in order to reduce anxiety. While defensive pessimism helps some people avoid the discomfort of failure, it is intentional optimism that is most generally associated with higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction. It can make us feel calmer and more effective and helps make interpersonal relationships stronger.

One misconception people can have about a positive mindset is that it means non-stop “look on the bright side”-itis, otherwise known as toxic positivity. A relentless focus on positivity is toxic because it is always in a state of resistance against those challenging aspects of life that we all face. (You may recall Princess Unikitty from the Lego movie, who is so determined to keep negative feelings bottled up inside that she ends up flying into a rage at one point.)

A positive mindset, on the other hand, doesn’t ignore negative emotions. It’s a flexible attitude that uses specific skills to help people deal with life in an optimistic way. 

You can spot people who have a positive mindset in different areas of your life. For example:

• • At work: positive people see mistakes as learning opportunities
  • In relationships: if a positive person gets turned down for a second date, they assume there’s someone else better for them out there 
  • In personal development: positive people believe in the human potential for growth

By staying positive, these people are actually contributing to positive outcomes in their lives.

That’s because a positive mindset creates a cycle of constructive behavior. These behaviors are what then lead to personal fulfillment and broader success.

 This is actually backed up by research. Studies show, for example, that positive thinking boosts not just resilience but life satisfaction in older adults. Optimistic people are less likely to develop cardiovascular disease. And people with generalized anxiety benefit by replacing worrying thoughts with positive ones.

So how does this work, exactly? How can a positive mindset actually create positive results? It all has to do with our survival instinct and these tricky things called our brains. The brain’s number one job is to keep its owner alive. To fulfill this mission, the brain must constantly be scanning for threats. Endlessly looking for things that could go wrong means that we humans have a natural negativity bias.

The thing is, we don’t need to look out for woolly mammoths or death by rolling boulder anymore. Instead, our negativity bias shows up in other, more modern ways. For example, let’s say you got a great performance review at work, but your boss wants you to improve on a certain skill. If you don’t have a positive mindset habit, you may find yourself dwelling unnecessarily on the negative instead of acknowledging the good feedback and getting to work on improving that skill.

We know that negativity in the form of chronic stress can have significant physical health impacts. Chronic stress has been linked to a variety of health problems, including hypertension, heart disease, weakened immune function, and gastrointestinal issues. Stress can also lead to inflammation, which is a contributing factor in many chronic conditions.

Being intentional about positivity through skills like reframing our thoughts can do a lot to reverse the effects of stress on our bodies. In fact, one study found that older people tend to live longer if they are optimistic—even taking into account their diet, depression, anxiety and other health factors.

As a recent 2024 literature review on health and mindset found, the power of mindset has a proven impact on quality of life. Yet scientists aren’t exactly sure what the mechanisms that cause these outcomes are. According to the Mayo Clinic, one theory is that a positive mindset reduces the harmful effects of stress because it helps people stay calm and cope.

To me, the value of a positive mindset is not just that it’s healthy for me in the long run. It’s that it just feels like a more enjoyable way to live life.

When you’re feeling low, breaking out of negative thought patterns can feel impossible. I used to fall into a negative spiral when I felt left out of something. Optimism in that moment could have helped me see it wasn’t personal and that I have plenty of great opportunities. Instead, it was like my thoughts were bouncing downward in a game of Plinko, as if pulled by gravity.

But if positivity is not something that comes naturally to you, how can you bring a little more of it into your life? If you’re already feeling low about something, it’s hard to shift perspective.

Reframing is a key tool anyone can use to break old thought patterns and create new ones. You know how a picture in an ornate, gold frame can make the picture inside the frame look more fancy than, say, a plain white one from IKEA? Reframing your thoughts is a little bit like that. If the frame for your thoughts is negative, the content of your thoughts will more likely be negative. But you can take the content of those thoughts and mentally reframe them in a more positive way. It’s all about deciding where to put your emphasis.

So when a negative event happens, feel the feelings, and then, look forward with hope. For example:

→ Negative frame: My boss wants me to improve on my presentation skills, which is so humiliating. I’ve always hated public speaking, and I’ll never be any good at it.

Reframe: My boss wants me to improve on my presentation skills. She sees the potential in me to go from an okay speaker to a great speaker. I’m excited to put energy into developing this skill.

→ Negative frame: I thought that date I had with Riley last week went really well, but now they’ve ghosted me. I’m such a loser. I should quit dating.

Reframe: I thought Riley and I had a connection, but I’m glad to find out this early in the game that it’s not going to work out. I think I’m going to ask Taylor on a date. 

→ Negative frame: I’ve been stuck for so long. I have so little going for me. I don’t know how to move forward or where to even start. 

Reframe: I know things don’t always have to be like this. I can do things differently. I just have to figure out how. I’m going to start by reading that book my favourite podcaster recommended.  

Shifting negative self-talk doesn’t mean going from “I hate my life” to “everything is rainbows and unicorns!” Notice that, in the above examples, it’s actually more subtle than that. So how does this work?

Using subtle strategies to shift to a positive mindset can include using specific phrases to preface an intentional thought. These can be “gateway phrases” that can bring you closer to a more positive thought.

For example, you don’t have to deny your negative feelings about your performance review and force yourself to repeat, “I’m so happy I got a A- review!” Instead, you can use a prefacing thought, like, “In a few months, I know I’ll be happy I got an A- review,” or “It is possible for me to be happy about my A- review.” Phrases like “I know one day I’ll believe…” or “It is possible for me to believe that…” are useful reminders that so many of our thoughts are temporary and flexible!

Self-compassion, as I’ve written about before, is so crucial to a positive mindset. To stay positive, you really do have to let yourself be an imperfect human who makes mistakes. Skip the comparisons to people who seem to have it all together. Extend yourself and those around you the same compassion you grant to puppies and babies, because that’s what we all deserve.

Journaling is also a fabulous tool for shifting our mindset. It can be a great mirror into our deepest fears and wishes, and it can also reveal pathways to feeling optimistic. When we allow ourselves to connect with feelings of hope on the page, it can motivate us to transfer those feelings into our actions. Even two minutes of gratitude before bed, even if you just think about it, has been shown to deepen people’s subjective well-being.

Our circumstances are rarely as bleak as we believe they are. Using humour to see the laughable in most situations can be a great way to break the tension. Take a breath, laugh, and move on! I keep a funny journal where I jot down life’s cringy moments for my own amusement. I started to see more and more laughable moments. The same would happen if you kept a gratitude journal; you’d gradually start to notice all you have to be grateful for. Literally counting your blessings!