Fun Follow-ups

1: ACTS OF KINDNESS.

Kindness is its own virtue, of course, but it’s also true that making someone else feel good makes us feel good. And you don’t need to mow the neighbour’s lawn to reap the benefits of this one (phew!). Even just a few words of thanks, or offering a sincere compliment to someone can spread good feelings—feelings that transfer over to you, too! (Especially if you’re looking in a mirror.) Best of all, expressing kindness to others is one of the most rewarding ways we can achieve lasting happiness – all while making someone else feel appreciated. Win/win! So the next time you have a chance to hold a door for someone, or tolerate the mouth-breather seated next to you on the airplane without rolling your eyes, or telling someone on your team what you appreciate about them, do it! Being kind truly benefits us all. Except for supervillains, maybe. How can you be kind today?

2: SAVOURING.

Savouring is a fancy word for focussing on enjoying something right in front of us. Even if it’s not ice cream. Positive psychology stresses the importance of savouring because pleasure is one ingredient in feeling good, and it boosts gratitude for what’s here in the present moment. Sometimes we savour things automatically, like when you notice the delicious flavour of that first sip of morning coffee…or afternoon coffee, or night-time coffee (hey I won’t judge!). But it’s also important to savour intentionally. That’s because we humans have a propensity to get used to things over time—so much so that we stop noticing how wonderful they are. This is called hedonic adaptation. Or marriage. So how can we be intentional about savouring? The next time you climb into your comfy bed or eat a piece of colourful fruit, or do both at once cause life is short, ponder how great they really are, and how lucky you are to enjoy them.

3: FIND “FLOW”.

You know that feeling when you’re immersed in a project, and time seems to slip by? When you look up, hours may have passed in just a blink of an eye. That’s “flow.” (Unless you’re riding in a DeLorean – then you’re experiencing actual time travel). We usually think of flow as something that just happens to us when the stars align. But we can also be purposeful about creating it. At the start of my career, I did data entry at the CBC. 8 hours of typing a day. When I started listening to comedy while I typed, it made time fly by. I’d look up and suddenly it was 5 o’clock and I’d finished typing up everyone’s timecards AND written a monologue for amateur night. Researchers have found that we access a state of flow when we do activities we enjoy yet also find a little challenging. That’s why you may sometimes feel yourself getting lost in a hobby like running, gardening, baking, or writing. Activities that are likely to get you in a flow state are those that offer both a sense of enjoyment and accomplishment. Notice that these are the activities that help you stay motivated, productive and creative. By making time to do them regularly, you’ll notice an improvement in your overall sense of wellbeing. Make like hydroelectricity and harness the power of flow! What makes time fly for you?

4: PRACTICE SELF-COMPASSION.

In today’s world of side hustles, near-constant grinding, and keeping up with TikTok dances, we can find ourselves feeling like we’re falling short. Shame starts to creep in when we feel like we aren’t doing enough or being enough. Self-compassion can help melt that shame away. It’s a misconception that self-compassion slows us down and makes us “soft.” Fear not: research has found that, while shame can paralyze us from taking action, self-compassion is actually motivating. (Think Eyeore vs Winnie the Pooh). When we forgive ourselves, we feel like we can move the heck on! For a quick dose of self-compassion, try this quick exercise from researcher Kristin Neff: put one hand on your heart, and the other on your stomach. Breathe deeply so you feel it beneath both hands. Just by doing this small gesture, you can plug in to feelings of self-compassion and reassurance. Adding in a mantra like “I’m enough” or “I’m safe, healthy and loved” can supercharge those feelings. Whenever stress strikes, breathe deeply and tell yourself those words, and you’ll grow stronger knowing you have this quiet place of refuge anytime you need it. Like your own mental AirBnb. What words of reassurance would bring you comfort when stress strikes?

5: GRATITUDE PRACTICE.

Many of us are familiar with the practice of keeping a gratitude journal. Some keeners might even have a gratitude dossier! Personally, I have a “funny journal” where I mark down things that seemed cringy in the moment but funny in hindsight. I noticed that when I started marking it down, I started to interpret more things as funny, thus increasing my enjoyment of life with very little effort. Whatever filter you intentionally tune your brain to, whether gratitude, comedy, or faith, it’s an elephant-sized improvement on the negativity bias our brains usually steer us towards. Give this one a try, because being grateful is shown to improve relationships, increase self-esteem and makes you live longer. What are you grateful for in this very moment? Ask yourself that a few times a day – or even just before bed and first thing in the morning – and see how your outlook changes.

6: GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND INTO YOUR BODY.

Mindfulness should be called “bodyfulness,” IMHO – even if that does sound like something experienced after Thanksgiving – because the whole point is to get out of your busy brain and into what your senses are experiencing in the present moment. Any kind of movement or exercise is a quick way to get over the regret of sending that 2 a.m. reply-all or stressing over next month’s bills. Like the letter ‘o’ it puts you in the now. (I call dibs on that bumper sticker!) Remember, getting the mental health benefits of movement doesn’t rely on doing vigorous exercise. Movement is meant for all of us, not just Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. Everything counts with movement, no matter how small. Meeting a friend for a walk instead of a drink, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, or singing one karaoke song off YouTube every night (just me?) helps to relax and energize us simultaneously. What energizes you?

Rest anytime, anywhere with deep breathing. When we’re stressed out, an old-timey part of our brain releases hormones that would have helped us stay alive by defeating a predator. But these days, it’s not very helpful when our body releases those hormones when we accidentally hit reply all or have to speak at a big meeting. Although a brisk walk or yoga can help with stress, the quickest proven way out of anxiety is “box breathing”.  It takes you from fight or flight mode to rest and digest mode, so you can move on peacefully. I do it anytime, anywhere, and it reminds me that no matter what happens in life, at our core we always have a safe, quiet place. I do box breathing about 3 times a day, and it has made me less reactive and more confident. Try it, it works!

What energizes you? Spending more time in areas of life that fill us up (and less time on areas of life that drain us) makes us happier and more resilient.

Life doesn’t have to be perfect in order for it to be enjoyable. Here is a Wheel of Life. Are there areas you’re excited to spend more energy on? Areas you find draining where you’d like to step back or try a new approach?

Proven cornerstones of mental health include community/relationships, mindfulness/meditation, exercise, nature and purpose/meaning. Start small in one of those areas and feel the momentum build. Congratulate yourself on any small steps you take towards your own wellbeing. You deserve to feel healthy!

You know that feeling when you want to be brave and try something, but you just….can’t? It’s often imposter syndrome, fear of failure or some other discouragement holding us back. The way through it it is here. Come back to these tips anytime you need a little nudge.

If you are going through a hard time reach out to someone who cares. And if that’s not available, consider a crisis line. They work!

A resilient mindset is possible with the following perspective tips. I found them incredibly helpful on my own wellness journey. And who doesn’t love kittens??

How we view stress makes a difference. When we’ve got that feeling of anxious dread, it’s often all encompassing. We feel it everywhere. Instead of viewing stress as PART of you, try viewing it as something you’re WEARING, like a backpack. It’s not part of you. It’s just a temporary sack of chaos that will eventually be removed. Remembering this can lessen the tension.

Excerpt from Depression The Comedy (named one of the 40 best books on depression from Good Housekeeping).

Please visit the Wellbeing page for more tips.